I will never begin to know myself until I can face myself. I will never be able to begin to unscramble the web of interior contradiction unless I am confident that, no matter how scrambled and ugly things are inside, I am safe, loved, and on the road to full recovery. I will never be able to open myself to people, and I will never be able to take the risks of love (risks without which I will never discover who I am), until I no longer need people for my deepest validation. The gospel frees me from that need. Plenty about me may shock people, but nothing can shock God, and all of it has been covered by the cross.